


“Merrily we roll along….”

by islandsmoke



Series: Adventure Vacation Series [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Adventure, Established Relationship, M/M, Rafting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-08
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2020-03-07 10:19:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18871219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/islandsmoke/pseuds/islandsmoke
Summary: This time, Remus has talked Severus into white water rafting.





	“Merrily we roll along….”

~~~~

_Adventure Vacation, bah!_ It was not a vacation without indoor plumbing.

“Do not defecate within 50’ of the high-water mark,” their guide had pronounced during the interminable lecture on river ethics. 

Severus scrambled up the steep slope behind their camp, folding shovel in hand. Out of breath, he came to a halt behind a large rock. All right, the view _was_ magnificent, but he’d still have a word with Lupin about his vacation choices later. 

He scraped a shallow hole in the sandy soil, then squatted down in a most undignified fashion to finish the job.

Mission complete, he was standing up when his trainer slid and set off an avalanche of small stones. His eyes widened in horror as he realized that one of those stones was… not a stone. Paralyzed, he watched as the large turd bounced merrily down the slope, heading straight for the campfire and the people seated around it. The turd finally came to a stop, rocking gently, at Lupin’s feet.

All eyes stared at the newcomer, then turned in unison to look up the hill to where Severus was hiding incompletely behind the rock.

Lupin covered his face with his hands and bowed his head, but Severus soon understood that it was not from embarrassment. His shoulders were heaving, and as Severus watched, Lupin fell slowly to the side where he lay in the fetal position, his whole body shaking with helpless laughter.

The others, he realized, were almost as incapacitated.

Sitting behind his rock, Severus wondered if he stayed there long enough whether they would go on without him, and if he could catch a lift with the next rafting company going downriver.

~~

**Author's Note:**

> This incident was swiped, with complete reverence and admiration, from a book I read decades ago: “How to Shit in the Woods: An Environmentally Sound Approach to a Lost Art” by Kathleen Meyer. Over the intervening years as human traffic in our wilderness areas and on our rivers has increased dramatically, the ethics, and in most cases the rules, have changed to, “pack it out.” The book, now in it’s third incarnation, is a hilarious read, even if you don’t think you’ll ever need the information.


End file.
